“For so many, pets are not ‘just animals’, they are family. That bond is real, and so is the grief when they die,” says author Barbara Allen.
By Marina Williams
As Rev Barbara Allen speaks, a soft purring fills the background.
It’s Leaf, her rescued cat, curled up beside her, in a quiet yet powerful reminder of the deep bond between humans and their animal companions.
A Uniting Church minister and pioneering chaplain at Lort Smith Animal Hospital in Melbourne, Barbara has spent years offering pastoral care to those grieving the loss of their pets, a form of sorrow often dismissed or misunderstood.
Her book, ‘Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart’, is a compassionate and practical guide to navigating pet loss.
“I wrote it to help grieving pet owners and equip those who want to support them,” Barbara says.
“For so many, pets are not ‘just animals’, they are family.
“That bond is real, and so is the grief when they die.”
Barbara’s inspiration came from her time at Lort Smith between 2006 and 2011, where she saw first-hand society’s failings in acknowledging the depth of grief following an animal’s death.
“Our society doesn’t deal well with death, let alone pet death,” she explains.
“People often feel embarrassed or ashamed for grieving their pet, as if their emotions are excessive.
“But the truth is, grief is not about the species, it’s about the bond.
“Writing the book was to normalise pet death, and to say this is normal.
“They’re part of our family, so of course, we grieve.”
Personal loss also shaped Barbara’s book.
She signed her publishing contract while her late husband, David, was gravely ill.
“He was delighted and said, ‘this is the book you were meant to write’, and I think he was right,” Barbara reflects.
After his death, finishing the book became cathartic.
“Some days, the tears flowed as I wrote, but that’s okay,” she says.
“Grief is messy, and writing was part of my healing too.”
As well as dealing with pet loss, ‘Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart’ explores grief, theology, history, and healing.
Pets form a unique bond with their owners.
It also shares historical accounts of figures who deeply mourned their animals.
“Sigmund Freud didn’t have a dog until he was nearly 70, but once he did, he discovered the power of animal companionship,” Barbara says.
“His dog became what we’d now call a therapy dog.
“Florence Nightingale had a little owl she rescued in Greece.
“When it died, some said she grieved more openly than she had for any human loss, and that tells us something.”
Barbara shares her home with rescued animals, including her blind dog, Harry, who was rehomed after surgery to remove his eyes.
Despite his disability, he has thrived, even serving as a story dog, helping children gain confidence in reading.
And then there’s Leaf, who was rescued after being thrown off a balcony.
Now safe and loved, Leaf is a daily reminder of why Barbara’s work matters.
“Animals teach us about love, loyalty, and living in the moment,” she reflects.
“They don’t dwell on yesterday’s worries or stress about tomorrow.
“They simply love us as we are, and that’s a profound spiritual lesson.”
Today, Barbara serves as a supply minister at Armadale Uniting Church.
Her next book, about extinct animals, will be published in May.
She also volunteers at Story Dogs, a charity that that helps children gain confidence in reading.
“Grief has no timeline,” she says.
“If you love deeply, you will grieve deeply, and that’s okay.
“Grief is love with nowhere to go.”
‘Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart’ (Broadleaf Books, 2024) is available at Dymocks, The Avenue, Readings and online, including Amazon.
